


Warm beer

by Morethancupcake



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Coming Out, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Jealousy, M/M, Misunderstandings, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-18
Updated: 2015-04-18
Packaged: 2018-03-24 15:30:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3773866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morethancupcake/pseuds/Morethancupcake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He doesn't know if he talks like this with the others. A big selfish part of him wishes for this to be theirs and theirs only. Nursing lukewarm beers, watching the sea at night, he feels lighter and happy."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Warm beer

I've never even kissed a guy, you know ? 

People joke, about me and Steve, and yeah, it's all fun and game. It's not like that back in Jersey. You don't joke about being gay. 

Told my dad, once. Thought he was going to beat the living crap out of me, but no. He was just very silent for a while, and then he offered me a beer. Never asked me anything, never mentioned it. But I knew he was glad when he met Rachel. He was relieved. 

 

Danny talks a lot. He babbles, he rants, he mutters under his breath. In the deafening silence Malia left behind, he kept him afloat.

Danny shares everything with everyone. He talks about Grace, when they're all having lunch together. He moans about Rachel and her atorney when they're waiting at the tribunal. He laughs with Steve when they're explaining exactly why the suspect confessed in less than two minutes. This, he doesn't really need. It's nice, it's something he knows from his years at the academy, from his days serving his country. You work with people, you share stories with them, you are comrades, brothers.

Danny is different. He laughs, loud and obnoxious with everyone, but he checks up on him when he sobers up, every time. It's a tiny gesture, it's almost nothing, but it makes him feel warm. 

He doesn't know if he talks like this with the others. A big selfish part of him wishes for this to be theirs and theirs only. Nursing lukewarm beers, watching the sea at night, he feels lighter and happy. He smiles at Danny stories, he laughs softly when Danny tells him about Grace, and how amazed he had been by her from day one, even when she had just been a little bundle of joy only capable of throwing up and ruining his best shirts. He stays silent when Danny talks about Rachel. About women. About men. 

He says nothing when Danny tells him about the want, always leading the the fear, and then the shame. 

They drink warm beer, and there's sweat soaking Danny's back. He's peeling at the bottle's label when Chin finally says, almost a whisper :

"I dated a guy named Scott in high school. My uncle wasn't exactly happy, but he wasn't mad either." Danny chuckles, it's a poor little sound.

"What kind of name is that. Scott. Was he like, captain of the football team or something ?"

"No." Another swig of the disgustingly warm beer. "I was, remember ?"

They laugh, and this time Danny sounds a little more like himself.

 

The questions come after a little while. They're eating in the car, careful of the sauce on the perfect seats when Danny asks.

"You ever... dated anyone else ? I mean.. any guy after that Scott-kid ?" 

Chin smiles and hides it with his taco. 

"Not after Malia, no. A few before. It wasn't easy, with the academy, but.. yes." 

He moves to his second, and eyes Danny next to him, wistfully munching on his sandwich. 

"Do you... I mean. You can see yourself seriously dating ?" Danny hesitates, and it's not something often seen, the way he trips over words. "What I mean is, can you see yourself going all the way, marriage, and kids, and everything, but with a dude ?"

"Of course." Another bite. "You don't ?"

Danny's laugh this time is dejected. Chin doesn't know when he became such a specialist in Danny's moods, his variations, his shifts. "I am an old divorcee with a kid, an awesome, wonderful kid, but still a kid. My job is a nightmare, my appartment is a mess, and when I'm not out getting myself killed, I am trying to prevent Captain America from getting killed. And, let's face it, still a virgin. I'm pretty sure men here won't get in line to date me, buddy."

"I would."

He doesn't know when he became master at silencing Danny either.

 

They're on their way home, Danny walking next to him when he asks, almost shy. "You were serious ?" Chin frowns, and so it goes "When you say that, earlier, you were serious ? Because, deal is, if this is just a joke to you, please don't, okay ? Just don't. Things are a mess, right now. I can't think, I can't concentrate. This is a huge freaking deal for me, so don't act all condescending and nice, just.. don't. Deal ?"

"I wasn't joking. I would date you, Danny." The hands stop. The blue eyes are angry, sad, relieved, and then something. Something he doesn't want to keep for himself, but maybe he can. Danny looks hopeful. 

"You want to grab a bite before heading home ?"

"Why not."

 

"It would be a bad idea." Danny is butchering his food, not eating, fidgeting. He's halfay through his pint, and Chin knows he'll go with a second, maybe a third, and he'll have to drive them and put him on his couch. "You and I, I mean. You can't mean that."

"Why ?" He gets his own drink, and tries not to feel too much. "I do. I do mean it. You're a great guy, and very handsome. I'm sure many men would love nothing more than to get involved with you." He's cut by Danny's laugh, a little too hysterical, a little too sad on the edge.

"Get involved. Chin, buddy, I'm a mess. Why would anyone lose their time with me ? I am not even sure I..."

"You..?"

"Forget it."

Chin knows when he's not supposed to ask, when he's not supposed to make Danny talk. He sleeps on his couch, and in the morning, they eat in the kitchen, the silence comfortable around them.

 

Danny flirts with a witness, a beautiful girl with a warm smile, and leaves them to meet her afterwork. Chin doesn't say a thing, he doesn't need to. He doesn't go back to the beach that night, when they all gather to celebrate the end of the case. He stays home and watches TV, he drinks alone and doesn't want to think.

It's almost midnight when he jerks awake, suddenly aware of the knocking on his door and the drool on the cushions.

"Chin Ho, I know you're here. Answer that damn door right now." Only Danny could whisper-boss people into anything.

Danny doesn't look happy, far from it. The hallway is dark, but Chin can see the unhappy twist of his lips, the eyebrows topping the angry eyes in the dim light.

"What are you doing here ?" Chin is tired, and not exactly awake. Too much beer and not enough food, and possibly feelings he doesn't want to spend too much time on. He just wants to sleep, and face this in the morning, whatever this is.

"You, ask me what am I doing here ? What about you ? I was waiting for you, you idiot ! You never answer your phone ? You know we're supposed to be reachable, in case of emergencies ?" Danny throws his hands everywhere. He moves around, and he gets closer, as if he has a right to do so.

"Is this an emergency ?" 

"Well, no. Maybe." Danny stays still for a while, and Chin sees it on his face, the tiredness, the sadness. He catches a glimpse of the coffee table and the bottles, his rumpled clothes and his grumpiness. "You're going to get us coffee, and maybe food ?"

"It's too late for coffee."

"Then I'll make us tea, come on. Follow me. To the kitchen we go, drunkie."

Danny takes care of him with gentle hands, like he does with Gracie when she's sick. Like he did after Malia. He makes him a sandwich, and annoys him until it's more than half-eaten on his plate. He makes them huge bowls of tea "I think you're way past mug, and I can't really see you drink from the fruit bowl", and he sits next to him, still in the dark. On TV, a Law and order rerun make them smile at the same time.

"I was waiting for you." He says again, and nudges a foot with his. "I thought it was our thing."

"You were busy."

"Ah, yeah. About that." Chin doesn't want to notice it, the guilt, quickly pushed away, and then the wariness. He doesn't want to feel like a teenage girl, lovesick and heartbroken. He doesn't know when this started to take so much place his life felt suddenly dull and not right, watching Danny go to see someone else. "I guess... that was a dick move. I'm sorry, okay. I guess, I needed to know. I needed to be sure. I went over there, and she was cute, and nice, and obviously into me."

"Danny.."

"Let me finish. Let me finish, and then I can leave you to that little party you had going on. But yeah, it was supposed to be good, it was supposed to be, but then all I could think about was this moron I work with. This guy who says stupid things, and make me wants thing. Stupid things. Like kissing him, like taking him to exactly the same places we go, but calling it dates, because there would be a chance I would go home with him. And so I tell her, I tell her about that moron, and she gets all dreamy-eyed and mushy, and she tells me to go after it, to trust my heart for God's sake, and so I do. I take my car, and I rush to our spot, feeling guilty, and everyone here tells me you didn't even bother."

"And so..?"

"So ? So what ? Are you really doing this right now ?"

"Did you tell McGarrett how much you love him ?"

Danny laughs, and he laughs too, after a handful of seconds. It's a lot, it's huge. Danny is looking at him with hope, and fear, and want, and all he can think about is how hangovered he's going to be in the morning.

"In the morning, take me on a date ?" 

"You bet your sweet behind I will." 

 

They have breakfast together, malasadas and coffee, enjoying the early morning. His head is hurting, and his body is disagreeing with the little nap taken on the couch, but nothing could take him away from the sweet joy it was to wake up to the blond hair on the pillow next to him, Danny's hand holding his biceps, as if to make sure he was safe. He takes another bite, sugar spilling everywhere.

"I could do it, you know ?" He looks at Danny, who'd been holding his hand for a few minutes when the lady had called them to their table. "I could. Hold your hand. Kiss you even. I'm sure I could, what's the big deal anyway ?"

"Of course Danny." They eat breakfast together, in the sun.

**Author's Note:**

> you can find it (and me) on tumblr : http://iwanttopizzamanyou.tumblr.com/post/116753122054/warm-beer
> 
> kudos and nice comments are warm brownies to the soul :)


End file.
